If getting more intimacy in your life, and letting go of loneliness was simply another problem to be solved, you’d be all over it.
Let’s face it. You’re really good at solving problems.
However, I’m sure you’ve figured out that wanting more intimacy, and possibly feeling shy, isn’t the sort of problem that trying harder or even smarter is enough to solve.
The reason so many of the things you have tried haven’t worked is that something important is missing:
- Trying to change on your own doesn’t work very often because it’s very hard to go to and stay in that place of radical self-acceptance that can supercharge your progress unless you have the experience of another trusted person hearing and seeing you and continuing to accept you.
- A lot of coaching spends too much time forming action plans and leaves out important steps including clarity about what’s true for you right now.
- Both psychotherapy and coaching often don’t pay enough attention to your body and your heart (or spirituality) which makes it harder for change to happen and to last.
- As helpful as psychotherapy can be, lots of time is spent addressing the question “why?” While there is an appropriate time for looking at that, too much focus on “why?” can result in the process being less than radically accepting of every part of you.
- Medical doctors pay attention to the body, and often not enough attention to the mind, much less your heart and soul.
- Meditation pays attention to what’s happening right now, and to varying degrees to your body. It can be helpful for finding acceptance and quieting your mind. However, it doesn’t help you to find the practical solutions you need for challenging issues.
- Workshops and books can be helpful and fun. Unfortunately they usually they lack ongoing support to help you make what you learned a part of your everyday life.
So often when we look for help outside ourselves, there isn’t a strong enough foundation to support lasting change.
What’s needed is an approach that involves all of you: mind, body, heart and soul. An approach, that helps you know deeply the truth of your current experience, and supports you throughout the process of change.
All in a way that lets you feel heard and fully accepted, by yourself and by someone else.
At every step it’s important to listen to your mind, your body and your heart — not just one of them.
That’s what I call “Listening To Your Life.” It’s something we’ll do together. It’s a powerful support for lasting change.
Four Cornerstones for lasting change
I’ve learned through hard-earned experience that for true change to happen, you need to build a solid foundation. Like the cornerstones in a sturdy building you need the following four elements:
- Clarity about what’s real, true for you, here and now. There’s no time change can happen but the present.
- Including your whole self, body, mind, heart and all. That includes access to parts of you that talking and analyzing can’t reach.
- A radical acceptance of every part of you, so that you feel stronger and calmer in the face of challenges. And so that parts of you no longer feel the need to get in your own way.
- Some kind of ongoing support. Unfortunately, having a pretty good idea of what to do is rarely enough to help you actually do things differently. Much as we might like them to, good ideas don’t always translate into new action.
These four cornerstones give you the best possible foundation for successfully taking your life to the next level.
If you want to bring more intimacy into your life and to move forward despite what’s been getting in the way …
The first step I recommend is to sign up for my free email list for periodic news and helpful articles. You can do so by clicking here or by completing the short form below.
You can also find out more about me, or contact me.
I look forward to seeing your journey into the richness of intimacy and belonging that you want.